Understanding Heart Rate Vulnerability: Tools for a More Regulated Nervous System

Season 4- Episode 54

In this episode, Lauren dives into the importance of Heart Rate Variability (HRV) and how it reflects the state of your nervous system. She explains why HRV matters, how it serves as a nervous system resilience score, and how a higher HRV indicates flexibility and adaptability, while a lower HRV suggests you're stuck in a stress response. Lauren shares seven practical ways to support and improve HRV—like cold water exposure, humming, singing, rhythm, eye movement, laughter, caring touch, and play-based activities. Her message is clear: if you're feeling tired or overwhelmed, your nervous system is asking for help. The good news? You now have some simple tools to support it. Don't worry about being perfect—just aim for progress.

If you haven't already, check out Five Ives to see how strategies like this can be applied to adults, especially in the workplace. Five Ives works with staff in high burnout jobs to help them incorporate regulation strategies into their daily routines.

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Transcript:

Lauren Spigelmyer-

“We're back for another episode this time about your heart, specifically, heart rate variability, and how it connects to your nervous system health. So really thinking about this. Can your heart tell you how stressed you really are? It can. But really, what is heart rate variability? Why does this matter and how this, the most important mark next to your nervous system, because we've been in this flow of nervous system. And I think we have a lot of these tracking devices. And we have this data. But we don't know what the data means. And if you're a medical professional, maybe. But if you're not a medical professional. You're probably like, I have no idea. I know. Hrv, I know heart rate variability the term. I don't know what it is or why I should care about it. I'm going to solve that for you today. Not only that, I'm going to tell you how it impacts your stress, your energy, your emotional health. And I'm going to give you practical ways that don't necessarily have to include fancy gadgets or expensive ones, or complicated routines to help improve your heart rate variability. So I think a lot of people think that your heart beats like 60 beats per minute, and that is like one beat every second like that's that's the goal. But the cool part is, it's not that consistent or robotic.it doesn't always beat exactly once every second. Sometimes there's a little pause between beats, and sometimes it speeds up a little bit, and sometimes it slows down a little bit. And there's this natural variation with little shifts in timing and those little shifts with a natural variation is what we call heart rate variability. So, if you have more variation in your shifts.that means you have a high heart rate variability. It actually is a good thing. Less variation is low heart rate variability. High is a sign of healthy, flexible, nervous systems. We want healthy, flexible, nervous systems. It means that your body can respond to and recover from stress really easily, much faster, more fluidly, more seamlessly. And we want that, because the reality is

it's hard to reduce our stress. Like, there are a lot of stresses in our lives that we don't have control over. But we can begin to take some control back through managing things like your heart rate variability.

 

Okay, so let's talk about how does this apply to what we've been talking about, which is the autonomic nervous system.

 

Okay, quick review, autonomic nervous system you've got. I talk about a lot in terms of like Dan Siegel's window tolerance. But we're going to start integrating more of Stephen Porge's Polyvagal Theory. I haven't talked a lot about the polyvagal theory because it's so science and complex. It's kind of hard to grasp. I'm still working on like a good visual breakdown that marries the 2. So in in sense and in theory, you have this autonomic nervous system. Think of it ike 3 boxes stocked on top of each other. You have a box in the center, and that's your window of tolerance. How much can I tolerate before I go up, or I go down? And you've got a box above and below, and each box represents kind of what's going on in your internal and maybe external body. So when you leave the window of tolerance and you go up. You fall into this, you jump into really the sympathetic side of the nervous system and this is when you are like tense and defensive, and and anxiety comes up a lot in the sympathetic side of the nervous system. So if you're like me, I'm more anxious. Prone. I'm more like defensive and like tense tight. My body's always like tense, tight. I live in the sympathetic side of the nervous system. I am working so hard to come out of that sympathetic side, and I do. And then I go back in. So sometimes you can be in that sympathetic side of the nervous system, and you get so overwhelmed with the stress that you kind of go like even farther up in the sympathetic side, and you freeze. You're like overwhelm. I don't know what to do. Freeze, but it's not like freeze shut down, because inside your body your heart rate's still going really fast. Your adrenaline's still pumping. Your body's like I need to fight or flight. But I'm trying to move, and I'm frozen. So your body's still in an elevated state versus. If you're a person who's more prone to go down versus up, you fall into the parasympathetic side of the nervous system. So this is the, they call it the rest digest side or rest recover side, because it has a portion of it that does help you to rest and recover. But if you get down into the like dysfunctional side of it, you get into the Parasympathetic Freeze State. And that state is really it's where your body feels like synthetic freeze. We're like it's gonna, like, can't move, can't think, can't do overwhelmed. But this time your internal systems are doing something different. When you're in sympathetic or sorry when you're in parasympathetic freeze. Your body is actually in like a shutdown state like a dissociation. Your digestion slow slows. You're more disassociative, disconnected, even more like depressive, like. You're more prone to depression. So that's kind of like the nervous system in a nutshell. The only thing I didn't really talk about is when you leave the window tolerance. You go down to the parasympathetic side. There's like kind of 2 levels of the parasympathetic side. The 1st Level is like these aren't good. They aren't good nor bad. The 1st Level is like, well, how do I word this? It doesn't make it sound good nor bad. It's the rest and recover side of the parasympathetic nervous system versus if you like, keep going down. That's the freeze side of the parasympathetic. So we don't really want to be in freeze long term freeze. Short term is okay? Because think about this this like involuntary reaction, whether you go up or you go down. Or maybe you do both. It's, they're not good and they're bad. They're survival based. And they're what kept us here so like the nervous system and moving through these states is is good. You just have to come back out of them. And the problem is we get stuck in them, or we keep revisiting them so frequently that it becomes more of like a stabilized state, meaning. We stay there more than we stay in our window tolerance, but, like everything in nature, it kind of works in rhythms. So, if you're a sympathetic person like me, who's more tight, tense, defensive anxiety.

 

What you can actually do is some of the opposite actions, so like calming down, slowing down, moving down and activating the parasympathetic side of the nervous system like that healthy rest and recover side of the parasympathetic. So that opposing force kind of balances you out versus, If you're more of the parasympathetic person that's like stuck down in that freeze, dissociative, disconnected, depressive state, you may want to connect with humans and and co-regulate and have them like help. You lift out of that state, or you might even lift out of that state by doing something more close to the sympathetic side. That's like more movement, more active, more like. Shake your body awake in a good and healthy way. So there's like sympathetic side and parasympathetic side. But there's like subsectors of each side. So that's your nervous system. In a nutshell. A healthy nervous system moves back and forth between 2 sides or between parts and subsets of sides almost like it's like a car shifting gears like you go out. You come back in, you go out, you come back in. That's healthy. That means that you are energized when you need to be energized, that you are responding to threats appropriately when you're responding to threats, and that you're relaxed when it's time to rest. Most of us don't experience that, though we stay in a threat based state, or we stay, maybe, too overenergized, or we're too disconnected. And this is where heart rate variability comes in. So it's a way to measure how easily and smoothly your nervous system is making shifts through those zones. So it's not really about how fast your heart is beating, but how much time between each heartbeat or how much really the time between the heartbeat changes from one beat to the next. You might sound kind of weird. But it's a good thing.

 

So let's say that you're tracking this data, and you're showing, and I'll give you some numbers here in a second. You're showing that you have high heart rate variability. It means that your heart is adapting and adjusting, based on what's happening in your body, in your external world around you. It, it's a sign that your nervous system is flexible. It's responding little stress, and it's well regulated versus low heart rate. Variability scores mean your body might be possibly stuck in one gear, which is usually a stressed out mode even when you're trying to relax. It's like your foot is still hovering over the gas pedal, even when you're trying to hit the brakes. Sorry for the car analogies.

 

So, in short, your heart rate variability is like a window, a little snippet of data into how balanced or how unbalanced or stuck your nervous system is, but the good news is, you can train it and support it and prove it over time. So why does all of this matter like, what are the effects of low and high heart rate variability? Well, let's talk about it. So it's a reflection of your nervous system. It's your ability to again stay regulated, recover from stress. Move through your day your emotions, your states, without getting hijacked by overwhelm, shut down and survival mode which many of us are so I would guess that a lot of our heart rate variabilities are potentially low. So let's connect it to something you already know, which is my discussion earlier in the previous episodes of this, window of tolerance. When your heart rate variability is healthy and balanced, your body can move up and down that nervous system zone chart ladder very smoothly. It shifts in and out of gears quite smoothly, quite quickly. It recognizes when you're stressed. It does something to get you, or you do something to get back into your window of tolerance, and it can also shift into an action-based state when it needs to. But it knows how to come back into a rest and calm state after that moment has passed and that's what kind of keeps you in your window of tolerance or improves your heart rate variability, and allows you to think more clearly and allows you to stay so present and allows you to respond instead of react to the things going on in and around you.

 

Okay, but if your heart rate variability is slow, your system is more rigid, and you have a hard time shifting out of those stress modes. So you might be stuck in sympathetic side or stuck in parasympathetic freeze. Or maybe you're stuck in the high sympathetic freeze even after the stressful moment has passed. You logically, might be like, Okay, the stressful moment has passed, but your body isn't showing the data that it has. The body still believes it's in stress state, even if you logically know you're not. That's what's crazy about the subconscious and the nervous system. So here's what it might look like with you. If you have low hari variability, you are trying to to rest calm down, but you still feel really wired. You feel like you are easily triggered by tiny little things or easily overwhelmed. You are feeling constantly exhausted and unable to sleep. I will say some of these things also come with like seasons and phases of life. If you have young children or children at all, or multiple children, or like job, things like are very stressful. All this information still applies, but you are in a season where you might feel more exhausted because you're just getting a lack of sleep due to the things you have to do in everyday life. So that's why it's good to know the heart variability thing, though, because you can do some of these things to still reset your heart rate and improve it while dealing with those stressful things snapping at people, especially people you care about for, like no clear reason like it just subconsciously comes out or even you might feel feel like you are stuck in a shutdown state. You might lose motivation. You might feel like you just don't have any energy, or you just can't get going. But if you're in high heart rate, variability, your nervous system can shift right through those gears you feel the stress, but you can recover really fast and really well from the stress you feel calm, and when you actually feel calm you feel fully calm and your body feels calm, and all of it feels good. Your brain is not just telling your body, it's calm and you're able to bounce back really quickly from big emotions, tough situations, micro stressors or traumas. And you're more likely to feel like you are steady and regulated even when things get really hectic. You're like, sorry I got this. My body can handle this. I can bounce back quickly. I have the tools I know how to regulate. I've got high heart rate variability. And my body's gonna help me get to where I need to get it's built to do that.

 

Okay, so heart rate, variability is like a nervous system resilience score. It's not about being perfect. I'm gonna give you some numbers here in a second. You're gonna be like, like, if you you track this or you start measuring this, you'd be like, Oh, my gosh, I'm in the low, or I'm not. That's okay. It's information for you to use to change it, like as someone who teaches this and knows about it. Well, I'm still sometimes stuck in the like normal to low range versus, like, there's a good and excellent range, and I like rarely sometimes, but rarely, ever, find myself on the excellent range. My perfectionist type a is like, I want to be in the perfect range. I want to be in the exceptional range, but there are a lot of external things that are working against me, and I am trying to train myself to just slowly move up. I don't need to be exceptional. I just need to be good. Even normal is normal, like, normal is actually okay.

 

So, let's really dig into this.Okay, there's there are ways to measure it without a device. You don't need a device to do that. You can search how to measure hari variability without a device. But there are a lot of devices that track it. So any wearable is going to likely track, heart rate, variability, your apple. Watch your aura ring, your fitbit, your whoop. It'll all show you hrv heart rate variability. Even. I have a dupe, I would say a dupe, not a dupe, but I was doing some research and working with some companies to find a ring that is not as expensive as the R. Ring, but still measures all the data. And I did find one, and as soon as I get that link from them, I will share it from you. So come back here to get this ring, because it's actually it's it's very much worth the price. It's a quarter of the price of the R. Ring. But it tracks a lot of this data. But even if you don't want to do a wearable, because even I'm a little bit like, Yeah, I really want to wear a device. I don't wear a watch. I don't wear an apple or any smart watch. I don't like devices on me all the time. If you don't want to do a device on you, you can even download or access apps that will use your finger and your camera to measure things like heart rate. There's 1 called Elite H. Rv. And there's 1 called Wellatory WELL.Maybe it's weltery WELL, TORY, and you can search other heart availability apps, or you can just go through the steps to measure it kind of more manually, but that is not as easy to do, and you have to do it like regularly to see the trend. The easiest thing is to get a device, even a cheap one, or like a phone app because it can measure it regularly and frequently. Okay. So you usually see heart availability measured in milliseconds, and the actual single number alone doesn't matter so much. It's the trend. It's like the up and down. And is it going up over time? Is it staying steady over time, or is it dropping over time? So here's like a point of reference for you. You have a low heart rate variability when your score is, I don't even want to call it a score when your heart rate variability numbers are under 30. If you're in that 30 to 60 range. That's very normal. Good range 61, 101. If you're above 101, you're in the excellent zone. And here's the thing, different seasons of life, different transitions, different personal life, things. You might be excellent and drop down to low and move back to normal and go to good. And it's totally okay to fluctuate through all these different areas. When I am functioning normal, I'm like, okay, normal is still good. I want to get to the next level. So like, how can I work on this and prove and get to good? I don't even need to get excellent. I just want to get a little bit better because my body needs me to. So again, low is under 30, normal, 30 to 60, good, 61 to 101 and 101 plus excellent. Give yourself some grace. It's not bad or wrong to be in the low zone or the normal zone just means you're under a lot of stress. And now we can start to do things to correct it.

 

Okay, So when your heart rate variability starts to trend upwards when it starts to go up into that normal, good, excellent zone. It's a sign that your body is recovering really well for stress from stress, so celebrate that it also is a sign that you're getting enough rest, and you're managing your emotions more easily, and your nervous system is becoming more flexible. That is good news that is worth celebrating. You're becoming very adaptable. You're shifting gears when needed, and you're returning to a calm state. Many of us can't do that. Okay, if you are staying steady. That's not actually a bad thing either. That's like holding steady with some like normal little ups and downs, puts you. Probably in the normal range means you're maintaining your baseline. Your body is coping mostly well, with the life's normal stressors, and you're staying either in or possibly at least near your window. Tolerance more or most of the time. Not a bad thing. Okay, when it goes down, that might be a sign that your body is undergoing a lot of stress. And again, not necessarily bad. It's just a sign. It's information you might not be getting enough rest, or maybe you're just not recovering. You are getting enough rest. There's rest and recovery. Maybe your body is dealing with an illness. Maybe you're feeling burnt out. Maybe there's a lot of inflammation in your body, all which can go hand in hand. Or maybe you're just finding that you're spending a lot of time in that sympathetic kind of survival mode without enough of the opposing side of that parasympathetic rest and digest and recovery. So just being aware of that can help you shift.

 

Okay, how do we improve it without fancy tech? Lots of things you can do. I mean, people are going to say things like, Yeah, get better and more sleep. Yeah, do some meditation. Yeah, breath work, and all of those things will increase in in effect, positively your heart rate variability. But some of those things are hard to achieve when you're in a survival state like, for me, personally, meditation is the last thing I am trying when I am in a survival state. I know I need it. I know the benefits of it. I know the science behind it, but I am in too much of a survival state to reach something that feels like so far out of reach or so hard. So instead, I'm going to work towards meditation. I'm not going to start with meditation. So let's talk about some less obvious, maybe even arguably more enjoyable ways to support your heart variability and thereby support your nervous system.

 

Okay, science fact, too.

 

One: cold water exposure. I know when people hear this, the 1st thing they go to or think of is like cold plunging, which may or may not be beneficial for you. For a lot of women it's actually not beneficial. It really depends on their cycle. It depends on their internal hormonal things. I mean, if you have high cortisol levels, cold plunging is not really very good for you. So for me, a woman with high cortisol not really very good for me. That doesn't mean cold exposure can't be good for me in ways. So instead of cold plunging, what I might do instead is just a smaller dose of cold water, so maybe I'll do like a cold rag. I'll put a rag in the wet rag in the fridge, and I'll probably even put some essential oils on it, some calming ones, and I'll put it on my chest, or my back, or my forehead, or, you know, under my chin, or just somewhere on my upper body. I might also just splash cold water in my face, run my hands under cold water. I might stick my hands in some ice, because my hands going in the ice is a lot more bearable than my whole body going in the ice water. So basically. What this does this splash of cold water, cold water, exposure, cold plunging. It triggers what we call the diving reflex which slows your heart rate and activates the parasympathetic nervous system. So if you are in the sympathetic side, potentially, it could be good for you. It just kind of depends on where your cortisol levels are. But if you are in the parasympathetic side already this might not be the best thing for you, because if you're already stuck in your parasympathetic side, and this diving reflex activates your like, the free side of your parasympathetic side that's going to get you stuck there even more. So, what would it look like to maybe do this, but pair it with something. So, for example, we talked about like above the parasympathetic on the bottom, above it, above the freeze zone. Is this what we call like rest and digest recovery, social connection, social engagement. So maybe if you cold plunge with someone, and you're like doing it as like a collective or a team or a partner. Maybe their physical presence, that co-regulation actually does balance out and help you reap the benefits of a cold plunge if you do it by yourself. Maybe it doesn't so like there's some little nuanced pieces here that we really need to think about. Cold plunging is such an interesting one, because it's so, it's a wellness practice that so many people are like pushing or encouraging, or places are popping up, and they're talking about cold plunging, but what no one's doing is measuring the nervous system and seeing if it's actually the best practice for people.

 

So I digress. Singing, humming, gargling, oming, awing, oohing anything that vibrates the back of your throat because it stimulates the vagus nerve, and your vagus nerve is your superhighway to calm down so sing in the car. Hum while you're doing chores, gargle water after you brush your teeth just frequently go out outside or around your house. I mean this sounds weird, and it is so maybe be mindful where you do it. People think you are losing it, aren't we all a little bit, though? So this activates the vagus nerve and it activates parasympathetic. And it tells your body to calm down a little bit, and it helps with hearty variability. So there's 2 3rd one. Rhythm, repetition, like music could be drumming could be walking could be running, could be rocking, swinging anything that's like movement, rhythmic patterns. And we know I've talked about this so much rhythm and repetition rituals, things that repeat. It's giving your body like a almost like a metronome of safety like it just like that. It's like it knows what to expect. It knows what's coming, so it can calm down eye movement, which is one that might shock you all, but that's where, if any of you have ever heard of or done. EMDR, I forget what this stands for. It's like eye movement, desensitization. I forget the R. But anyhow, emdr therapy, which is ironic, because I've done a lot of Emdr, and I can't remember what the R stands for is. It usually involves like holding little buzzers that buzz in your hands. Back and forth. Your eyes don't necessarily move, but the buzzers kind of like feel both sides of your body. You can tap both sides of your body, or you can tap your legs, your shoulders, or someone might have you watch like a screen or watch like a physical, like little color or movement, where it goes back and forth across the screen or across in front of you, and your eyes move from side to side. I mean, you could just do it by looking like how I'm going to recommend you do. It is just by like laying down and looking gently from left to right and back and forth. You just look left right. I know it sounds kind of weird. You're not really doing anything else. You're just I mean, you can do it while you're standing, too. It's left to right, left to right, left to right. That said, it's usually something that's used during trauma processing. It's why Emdr, therapy exists because it helps you to stay regulated while you're processing things that are traumatic or stressful. So when you're doing this like when I'm sharing the practice, I'm not suggesting you work through anything stressful or or traumatic. I simply am suggesting that maybe the practice of just moving into the regulation phase of it, of just moving your eyes left and right or back and forth, could be really regulating. If you do want to try it with trauma processing or stress processing, it would probably be best to at least initially start that with a professional that can be there to support you through it. Once you've learned the practice, and you think you can do it on your own. A lot of people do end up adopting and doing on their own. That said, just doing this alone and not processing the traumas and the feelings isn't going to, shouldn't send you into, I should say isn't going to, probably isn't going to, shouldn't potentially send you into a trauma triggering state unless you are thinking about or mentally moving through those those traumas.

 

So just think happy thoughts. Laughter, because it's physiological gold. I tell people all the time like

watch funny things. Look at funny things, listen to funny things, share funny things, read funny things. Even if you literally just laugh like, even if nothing is funny. But you just allow yourself a big old belly laugh., it boosts the parasympathetic tone. It lowers your stress hormone. It helps your heart and your brain sink into these really healthy rhythms that impacts your heart rate variability.

 

So yeah, 2 more.

 

Caring touch, or like a self hold. So caring touch would be giving someone a hug, holding their hand, sitting by them on the couch, cuddling, cuddling a pet even is going to be in reduced.or is going to. Actually, it's gonna increase a hormone called the. and it's going to increase oxytocin hormone. So when we feel oxytocin it usually comes from, and we call it the love chemical. So like connection, love feeling, heard, seen, validated, touched. And when I said earlier about a self, hold, a self hold is just a hold position on your own body that you do to yourself that makes you feel like it's a carrying touch. So for me, I tend to like, cross my arms and put my arms about my shoulder and squeeze my shoulders really tight. Some people put their arms in their armpits, and like squeeze tight there. It could just be like putting your hands on your chest and squeezing it could just be crossing your arms and squeezing. It's just basically like a self hug.

 

the last one, my favorite. So I saved it for last is play. Like adults activating play. And yes, we can like, be silly with kids if we have kids or around kids, and we'll access and play these things there. But what does it look like to actually just play as an adult, even without a kid like? Can you toss a ball, or kick a ball, or doodle, or draw or play a favorite game, play board games, play card games, have a game night, go to a pottery class, you know, any type of activity that's like play or creativity really helps to improve your heart rate variability because it's it's a form of alertness, but it's relaxed alertness. So it's like a healthy type of alertness. It's training your system to be alerted in a healthier way and it lowers your defensiveness. It increases your creativity. It supports your heart, brain, balance anything at all that's like silly or play based if you don't know what to do, use chatgpt and type in like, I need some adult play, that is, and like, describe some of the activities you like to do. Just be mindful of what kind of terms you're using to search, because that will determine what kind of answer you get to be really specific. So maybe don't use adult play or like, I'm an adult who wants to integrate more play. Based activities might be a better way to word that.

 

Okay, here are your 7 things, cold water exposure, humming, singing, gargling, anything to stimulate the vagus, nerve, rhythm, and repetition back and forth, eye movement, laughter, any type of caring touch or self hold, and any type of play-based activity.

So here are my final thoughts on this. If you're feeling tired, if you're feeling overwhelmed, if you're feeling like you're stuck and go. Go. I'm right there with you. Your nervous system is asking for support. Good news is I just gave you a bunch of ways to address it. Don't aim for perfection, just aim for improvement. If you can track your heart, rate variability, go back to those numbers, see where your baseline is, and try and work towards a higher heart rate variability by utilizing some of those practices. I'm not going to give you a try to home, Tip, because I already gave you 7. Think about how you can integrate those into a preventative act, meaning like pair it with something you're already doing.

 

So you do it on the daily and if you want to learn more about any of these things, and how to bring them into an organizational level. Jessica Doering, the my business partner, my beloved business partner. We run an organization called 5 Ives. and we bring this nervous system regulation into organizations that have high stress, high burnout, high turnover, struggling with retention so often like a lot of medical field positions, or even educational or nonprofits that serve a lot of high needs. Populations, police, fire, anything where people are leaving the field at rapid numbers and paces, but we train staff, frontline staff. How to respond to the people that they are dealing with, that are causing a lot of stress. We also teach leadership how to respond to the staff who are dealing with a lot of people who are experiencing stress. And then we might teach even people above them superiors, boards, how everyone can interconnectedly work together to achieve organizational regulation and individual regulation. 5 Ives, FIVE, IVES. Go to our website. It is 5 ives.com contact us. We're happy to have a conversation with you. We have lots of programming, coaching courses support asynchronous, synchronous all the things to support you in whatever way you feel like is best supported. All right until next episode. I am Lauren Spigelmeyer, and thank you for joining me.”

Calming & Coping, Emotional RegulationLauren SpigelmyerComment